“Look at me! Look at me! Sister Gertrude is dying to make love to you.”

Sister Gertrude has had a brain operation and it hasn’t gone all that well. At the aged care facility where she works, she’s having hallucinations and blackouts and doing odd things like jumping up and down on an old lady’s dentures. She’s also addicted to morphine and finances her habit (pun intended) by stealing jewellery from the patients and hocking it at a pawn shop. But it’s not all doom and gloom. Sometimes she has sex with strange men in public toilets. Then the patients start dying. They fall out of windows; they choke on cotton wool; they get stabbed in the face with pins and beaten to death with mobility aids.

Is Sister Gertrude the killer? Is it the handsome new medic Dr Patrick? Or could it be Sister Mathieu who can’t keep her clothes on and keeps pestering Sister Gertrude for lesbian sex after lights out? But really, who cares? Watch this movie for suspense and you’ll be horribly disappointed. Watch it for nuns who wear stacks of make-up and sleep in the nude, brain surgery that looks like someone cutting open a beach ball, corpse-fondling, a cheesy 80’s synthesizer score, dialogue to die for – “Stop it! You’re killing them!” – and lots of really sleazy sex and you’ll be richly rewarded. The Mount Everest of nunsploitation movies, this is one of the ten greatest bad movies ever made and carries the added endorsement of having been branded “unacceptable” by the Catholic church. What further recommendation do you need?

Director: Giulio Berruti
Starring: Anita Ekberg, Joe Dallesandro, Paola Morra, Alida Valli, Lou Castel, Massimo Serato

Cinema Fiasco presents movies with live commentary. If you want to see this movie without humorous interruptions you should go seek an alternative presentation – and medical advice.